From The Mouths Of Morons And Other Tales

thatnerdygamergirl:

ungratefullittleshit:

Times Tumblr Raised Serious Questions About “Harry Potter”

IDGHP

seanbeanisaredshirt:

harokissmile:

ksteeno:

spoookyscary:

After succumbing to a fever of some sort in 1705, Irish woman Margorie McCall was hastily buried to prevent the spread of whatever had done her in. Margorie was buried with a valuable ring, which her husband had been unable to remove due to swelling. This made her an even better target for body snatchers, who could cash in on both the corpse and the ring.
The evening after Margorie was buried, before the soil had even settled, the grave-robbers showed up and started digging. Unable to pry the ring off the finger, they decided to cut the finger off. As soon as blood was drawn, Margorie awoke from her coma, sat straight up and screamed.
The fate of the grave-robbers remains unknown. One story says the men dropped dead on the spot, while another claims they fled and never returned to their chosen profession.
Margorie climbed out of the hole and made her way back to her home.
Her husband John, a doctor, was at home with the children when he heard a knock at the door. He told the children, “If your mother were still alive, I’d swear that was her knock.”
When he opened the door to find his wife standing there, dressed in her burial clothes, blood dripping from her finger but very much alive, he dropped dead to the floor. He was buried in the plot Margorie had vacated.
Margorie went on to re-marry and have several children. When she did finally die, she was returned to Shankill Cemetery in Lurgan, Ireland, where her gravestone still stands. It bears the inscription “Lived Once, Buried Twice.”

what did i just read

Irish women are strong as fuck

I’m Irish and I can conclude that we are motherfucking metal

seanbeanisaredshirt:

harokissmile:

ksteeno:

spoookyscary:

After succumbing to a fever of some sort in 1705, Irish woman Margorie McCall was hastily buried to prevent the spread of whatever had done her in. Margorie was buried with a valuable ring, which her husband had been unable to remove due to swelling. This made her an even better target for body snatchers, who could cash in on both the corpse and the ring.

The evening after Margorie was buried, before the soil had even settled, the grave-robbers showed up and started digging. Unable to pry the ring off the finger, they decided to cut the finger off. As soon as blood was drawn, Margorie awoke from her coma, sat straight up and screamed.

The fate of the grave-robbers remains unknown. One story says the men dropped dead on the spot, while another claims they fled and never returned to their chosen profession.

Margorie climbed out of the hole and made her way back to her home.

Her husband John, a doctor, was at home with the children when he heard a knock at the door. He told the children, “If your mother were still alive, I’d swear that was her knock.”

When he opened the door to find his wife standing there, dressed in her burial clothes, blood dripping from her finger but very much alive, he dropped dead to the floor. He was buried in the plot Margorie had vacated.

Margorie went on to re-marry and have several children. When she did finally die, she was returned to Shankill Cemetery in Lurgan, Ireland, where her gravestone still stands. It bears the inscription “Lived Once, Buried Twice.”

what did i just read

Irish women are strong as fuck

I’m Irish and I can conclude that we are motherfucking metal

raygun101093:

marsupialmonster:

give-me-beautiful:

Perfect.

Win.

GAY TROLLING!

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theatrefetish:

you know what upsets me

bunnies have tons of sex

like supposedly always humping right

but does that affect how we look at bunnies?

no

do we still think bunnies are cute af?

yes

do we want bunnies any less because of their sex habits?

no

treat people like bunnies ok

this has been a psa

moonblossom:

chenisthebestkitty:

geekdonnatroy:

castayel:

fuchsimeon:

viperpilot:

Well, this is embarrassing

Left: Adrianne Palicki promo shot for NBC’s Wonder Woman.

Right: Kimberly Kane promo shot for ‘Wonder Woman XXX: An Axel Braun Parody’.

….is it just me or does the porno version outfit not only look WAY BETTER crafted and prettier, the actress also has more muscles, a nicer fitting chest piece and a waaay more fitting body type and skin tone. 

Also the porno version doesn’t look more “feminine”/more sexy whatever.

That… is EMBARASSING

the “official” one looks like a really bad Halloween costume

I mean fuck the porno one has bigger wrist cuff I REPEATE: BIGGER WRIST CUFFS PORNO WOMAN IS BETTER DRESSED TO KICK ASS *cries*

can someone contact the designer of the porno 

clearly he/she knows how a womans body works.

It’s embarrassing when the official looks a like a porn and the porn looks like the official thing.

The thing that makes me stunned the most is that even the boobs of the porn version are cupped and held in better by her clothing than those of the official thing…

The moment a porn movie treats the boobs of a woman with more subtlety than a big name production, some staff changes are in order.

What both fascinates and disturbs me the most about these is the body language and facial expression.

The “official” TV version looks passive, slightly confused, her pose is sort of ambiguous and floppy. She’s waiting for the viewer to do something before she reacts. The XXX version looks determined and fierce, and is taking literally 0% of your shit.

One of these Wonder Women looks like a sex toy, and it’s not the pornographic one.

Politics is simply one group foisting its rules and preferences onto another through the use of physical force. It may appear more or less democratic, more or less liberal, but always and everywhere it is a mere facade covering conquest.

poshxspice:

subject13fringe:

montypythonandtheholyblog:

today I learned that if you want to slash someone’s tires, don’t slash all four; only slash three because if you slash all four their insurance will pay for it but if you only slash three they have to pay for it all out of pocket 

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today on satan makes a blog post

itsstuckyinmyhead:

Tumblr Loves Halloween 

welcome-foolishmortals:

This is EVERYTHING I feel. Everything. Everything.

On the day of my second overdose, my Mum did not take me to the hospital.

She told me I was being selfish.

She told me I thought of no one else.

She told me that she didn’t understand why, I had nothing to be sad about.

When the ambulance came, she would not come to it.

I weeped to the man in the ambulance about how she didn’t care, and he said “I’m not surprised with what you put her through”.

The man told me I shouldn’t be doing this to my family. He asked me about my siblings, I told him, “I have two sisters”. And he replied “What would they think of you?”

He made me feel ashamed. I’d just tried to take my life, yet I felt like the world hated me more, and all I wanted was to disappear.

The man told me that no one liked to see horrible scars, when he saw them. He told me that the first thing I do when I see my Dad is apologise for what I’m putting him through.

Nothing else. No word of why it was okay for me to stay on this Earth.

When I arrived at the hospital, I saw my Dad and cried, the first thing I said was “I’m sorry”.

The ambulance man smiled at my Dad and said, “Don’t worry, I’ve given her a good telling off”.

I was being told off for being ill, by a man who was meant to look after me. I was told I only thought of myself, by a woman who should have always been there for when I was sick.

The lack of understanding surrounding mental illnesses is becoming increasingly worrying, and I will not have one more mentally ill person made to feel like they had a choice over their illness.

It’s time to change the stigma, and remind people that it is an illness that cannot be helped.

Becca-untangling (via becca-untangling)
iwillneverdropmysword:

masteradept:

american-ruby:

ohfalada:

Also their clothes (pockets, pockets, pockets).

if stuff is made for men, it’s practical and helps them be human beings
if stuff is made for women, it’s pretty and helps us be decoration

You forgot, the stuff made for women is also more expensive

Will never NOT reblog stuff such as this.

iwillneverdropmysword:

masteradept:

american-ruby:

ohfalada:

Also their clothes (pockets, pockets, pockets).

if stuff is made for men, it’s practical and helps them be human beings

if stuff is made for women, it’s pretty and helps us be decoration

You forgot, the stuff made for women is also more expensive

Will never NOT reblog stuff such as this.

vivianvivisection:

straight boys think girls can’t take compliments, and that’s ridiculous cause i’ve seen so many girls compliment each other, i’ve seen conversations & friendships blossom from girls complimenting each other in line, on the street, at school waiting for the bys, pretty much anywhere.

the problem is straight boys think sexual harassment & assault are compliments.

theconcealedweapon:

disrespectfuljezebel:

breenewsome:

Handcuff suicides are oddly common… #handsup #dontshoot #policebrutality #ourlivesmatter #ferguson #mikebrown #blacklivesmatter

Hmm, there’s a striking similarity between all of these poor ‘suicide’ victims but I just can’t put my finger on what it might be?

Their first names all have two syllables. That must be it.

theconcealedweapon:

disrespectfuljezebel:

breenewsome:

Handcuff suicides are oddly common… #handsup #dontshoot #policebrutality #ourlivesmatter #ferguson #mikebrown #blacklivesmatter

Hmm, there’s a striking similarity between all of these poor ‘suicide’ victims but I just can’t put my finger on what it might be?

Their first names all have two syllables. That must be it.

steampanic:

idaresayihavetoomany:

its-always-funnier-in-enochian:

timelord-castiel:

rosskemp:

do i have cramps or has my appendix exploded

does my boob hurt or am i having a heart attack

am i on my period or do i have internal bleeding

these are our struggles

Thinking of dirty thoughts and getting an erection in awkward situations

The struggles of a man

boo hoo

thinking of my naked grandma isnt going to suck the blood back into my vagina

you need an award right now

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