From The Mouths Of Morons And Other Tales

schrodingersnerd:

everythingisnightvale:

discontentramblings:

An asexual and pansexual become room-mates and have wacky adventures

The show is called ‘All or Nothing’

Plot twist: the asexual is really super outgoing and is a huge flirt while the pansexual is extremely socially awkward and has trouble ordering coffee let alone getting a date.

image

my hand slipped

smoteymote:

tolkienteacher:

rubitrightintomyeyes:

I enjoyed the new Captain America movie quite a bit. But I knew its soundtrack was missing something.

LOL!

OH MY GOD
tarteauxfraises

afrafemme:

A friend and I were out with our kids when another family’s two-year-old came up. She began hugging my friend’s 18-month-old, following her around and smiling at her. My friend’s little girl looked like she wasn’t so sure she liked this, and at that moment the other little girl’s mom came up and got down on her little girl’s level to talk to her.

“Honey, can you listen to me for a moment? I’m glad you’ve found a new friend, but you need to make sure to look at her face to see if she likes it when you hug her. And if she doesn’t like it, you need to give her space. Okay?”

Two years old, and already her mother was teaching her about consent.

My daughter Sally likes to color on herself with markers. I tell her it’s her body, so it’s her choice. Sometimes she writes her name, sometimes she draws flowers or patterns. The other day I heard her talking to her brother, a marker in her hand.

“Bobby, do you mind if I color on your leg?”

Bobby smiled and moved himself closer to his sister. She began drawing a pattern on his leg with a marker while he watched, fascinated. Later, she began coloring on the sole of his foot. After each stoke, he pulled his foot back, laughing. I looked over to see what was causing the commotion, and Sally turned to me.

“He doesn’t mind if I do this,” she explained, “he is only moving his foot because it tickles. He thinks its funny.” And she was right. Already Bobby had extended his foot to her again, smiling as he did so.

What I find really fascinating about these two anecdotes is that they both deal with the consent of children not yet old enough to communicate verbally. In both stories, the older child must read the consent of the younger child through nonverbal cues. And even then, consent is not this ambiguous thing that is difficult to understand.

Teaching consent is ongoing, but it starts when children are very young. It involves both teaching children to pay attention to and respect others’ consent (or lack thereof) and teaching children that they should expect their own bodies and their own space to be respected—even by their parents and other relatives.

And if children of two or four can be expected to read the nonverbal cues and expressions of children not yet old enough to talk in order to assess whether there is consent, what excuse do full grown adults have?

geromykyle:

you’re welcome

rainygalaxy18:

nothisisc8:

YOU KIDS THESE DAYS AND YER FANCY “SPRINTING” AND “MOTION CONTROLS”

WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE WE COULDN’T MAKE LINK RUN FASTER

NO, WE HAD TO ROLL ACROSS HYRULE FIELD TO MAKE IT TO KAKARIKO BY NIGHTFALL

BAREFOOT, IN THE SNOW, TAPPING THE A BUTTON REPEATEDLY FOR 10 MILES

AND WE WERE GRATEFUL

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davidbyrne:

i love laughing about the friend zone because it’s so dumb like you know most of those dudes aren’t even IN the “friend zone” they’re in the “ugh god not this dude again” zone

It’s like being stuck mid-shimmy (when you’re not all that good at it) on a metal pole over boiling water (volcano + suspension of disbelief available for sale in the gift shop) and the only hope for being saved lies in waving down a single pacing rescue ship miles away. 

In times such as this it’s difficult to decide, does determination mean everything or nothing at all? The only company for my paralysis is a deafening vibration from constant failure to escape. In a more violent youth I cut through cocoons without mercy. I don’t wish to and feel a sort of preemptive remorse for the consideration , even if it would be a more desperate resort.

I very much want to hurt myself. I want it as much (and as soon) as I want to get better. Getting better sounds like more long-term fun, though, and I foresee cutting and punching things being super unhelpful in the healing process. Still, the heart rate won’t quell and I want to bleed. Didn’t think until a few minutes ago that perhaps my strong desire to slice into this large cyst on my leg might be something other than just benevolent fixy urges.

In this constant internal setting of evading and failing to evade panic attacks I want to tear apart what’s threatening me, but that’s the very insane nature of panic disorders. My own body is threatening itself.

runs-on-reindeer:

When my sister was in the Marines some little shit told her to make him a sandwich so she went to his boss and they used money from the asshole’s next paycheck to order subs for the entire squadron

joetheblogger:

I like when Craig Ferguson recognizes the meta of the late night comedy process.

cuzyourethebest:

hunter-doctor-sorcerer:

snotvanilla:

odins-one-eyed-fuck:

lovelyphantasmagoria:

setbabiesonfire:

swallowedwholeinnegatives:

What does this mean?

That, my friend, is exactly the question you have to ask.

YOU LEFT OUT THE MOTHERFUCKING CRYSTAL PYRAMIDS THEY FOUND ON THE FLOOR OF THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE

OLDER THAN THE AZTECS AND COMPLETELY SMOOTH AND 3 TIMES BIGGER THAN THE EGYPTIAN CHEOPS AND NO ONE KNOWS HOW IT GOT THERE.

IM SORRY BUT WHY IS THIS THE FIRST TIME IVE HEARD OF THE CRYSTAL PYRAMIDS WHAT IS THIS SHIT

OKAY HERE’S YOUR DEBRIEFING OF THE CRYSTAL PYRAMID BECAUSE THAT IS SOME CRAZY SHIT.
IN 2012 FRENCH AND AMERICAN SCIENTISTS STUDYING THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE STUMBLED UPON THIS HUGE TRANSLUCENT PYRAMID
THIS THING MEASURED 300 METERS WIDE AND 200 METERS TALL. THAT’S BIGGER THAN THE PYRAMIDS OF GIZA SO YOU COULD IMAGINE HOW CRAZY THIS WAS TO THE SCIENTISTS
NOW THIS IS ALL 2000 METERS UNDERWATER. THE SCIENTISTS THEN DISCOVERED TWO HOLES AT THE TOP OF THE PYRAMID THAT MOVE WATER THRU AT AN EXTREMELY FAST RATE. THIS CAUSES MASIVE SURGE WAVES AND MIST ON THE SURFACE. THAT MAY BE THE REASON FOR THE INCIDENTS WITH BOATS AND PLANES CRASHING THERE
THEY’RE SAYING THAT THIS PYRAMID COULD BE FROM THE TIME BEFORE THE BIBLE SAYS NOAH’S ARK HAPPENED
OR ALIENS
BUT WHATEVER IT IS THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE JUST GOT LIKE A BILLION TIMES CREEPIER

so basically what i’m hearing is that we have found Atlantis

Yes

cuzyourethebest:

hunter-doctor-sorcerer:

snotvanilla:

odins-one-eyed-fuck:

lovelyphantasmagoria:

setbabiesonfire:

swallowedwholeinnegatives:

What does this mean?

That, my friend, is exactly the question you have to ask.

YOU LEFT OUT THE MOTHERFUCKING CRYSTAL PYRAMIDS THEY FOUND ON THE FLOOR OF THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE

OLDER THAN THE AZTECS AND COMPLETELY SMOOTH AND 3 TIMES BIGGER THAN THE EGYPTIAN CHEOPS AND NO ONE KNOWS HOW IT GOT THERE.

IM SORRY BUT WHY IS THIS THE FIRST TIME IVE HEARD OF THE CRYSTAL PYRAMIDS WHAT IS THIS SHIT

OKAY HERE’S YOUR DEBRIEFING OF THE CRYSTAL PYRAMID BECAUSE THAT IS SOME CRAZY SHIT.

IN 2012 FRENCH AND AMERICAN SCIENTISTS STUDYING THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE STUMBLED UPON THIS HUGE TRANSLUCENT PYRAMID

THIS THING MEASURED 300 METERS WIDE AND 200 METERS TALL. THAT’S BIGGER THAN THE PYRAMIDS OF GIZA SO YOU COULD IMAGINE HOW CRAZY THIS WAS TO THE SCIENTISTS

NOW THIS IS ALL 2000 METERS UNDERWATER. THE SCIENTISTS THEN DISCOVERED TWO HOLES AT THE TOP OF THE PYRAMID THAT MOVE WATER THRU AT AN EXTREMELY FAST RATE. THIS CAUSES MASIVE SURGE WAVES AND MIST ON THE SURFACE. THAT MAY BE THE REASON FOR THE INCIDENTS WITH BOATS AND PLANES CRASHING THERE

THEY’RE SAYING THAT THIS PYRAMID COULD BE FROM THE TIME BEFORE THE BIBLE SAYS NOAH’S ARK HAPPENED

OR ALIENS

BUT WHATEVER IT IS THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE JUST GOT LIKE A BILLION TIMES CREEPIER

so basically what i’m hearing is that we have found Atlantis

Yes

They introduce themselves as pro-life. And I say, ‘Oh, I’m so glad. You must be fighting for healthcare for the poor.’ And they look at me like I’m bonkers.

-Sheila Walsh, a Catholic nun (via ereyes312)

#when you get called out by a nun

(via windscurve)